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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Life is so Precious

I have learned a lot this week. I need to take better care of myself and to take life or people for granted. I was officially diagnosed with asthma this week. I am on two different medicines. One is for everyday use and the other is for emergencies. I've know that I had issues for a while, but it was always something that I could deal with on my own. Now, that I am getting older things aren't so easy anymore.

That is not what scared me straight. I had pretty much a great day on Tuesday. I started out by going for my jog in the morning. Then we took the kids to breakfast. After that we surprised them with a trip to the zoo. A good time was had by all. We came home and relaxed for a bit and all was good. Right around dinner time I had the worst head ache on one side of my head. I didn't even want to eat, but I did anyway. Then a bit after that I went to my room to lay down. My head hurt so bad that I couldn't even fall asleep.

John had to leave to go help his store with inventory, so I was still in bed when he left. I was laying in bed and all of a sudden I didn't feel so good. The room started spinning. I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn't find the bedroom phone so I went for the one in the hallway. NO DIAL TONE! I yelled for Jonaya to get me my cell, which was downstairs in the living room. I was telling her I didn't feel good without scaring her. I almost asked her if she knew how to dial 911, but I didn't. I held on and called John. He turned around immediately and came home. He said it sounded like my blood sugar had bottomed out. I had eaten pretty healthy that day. I got some sugar under my tongue and the feeling started to go away. More happened throughout the night, but I will spare you the details. I didn't have to go to the hospital and was feeling better by the next evening.

Even after John was back home I had a couple more episodes. I held on for my children. I thought if I passed out, I would miss something from their precious little lives. I wasn't sure how long it would take me to wake up. I thought about what would my husband do without me.

I have always under estimated my self worth. I always put myself last and says it didn't matter. Tuesday night, I realized that it does. My family needs me and I have to be here for them. This makes me appreciate the fact that they are here for me. It goes both ways. I have taken advantage of that and I want to change that.

I have been asking God what my purpose in life was. It is hard getting involved in a lot of church activities and other event going on with just one car and John working an odd schedule. God told me that I can start in my own house. Pour into my own children. Nurture them even more. Spend less time online. Take care of this house.

Well, two days later I was given even bigger plans. A neighbor that I have only met once before called me. I sold some Avon to her. She is a single mom with tow kids. She teaches at one of the local colleges once a week and her babysitter bailed. She asked me to go and get her kids. It was such an honor. I was glad to be able to take that stress away from her, so that she can do what she needed to do. I also told her they can come anytime, so she doesn't have to worry anymore.

Then I realized that there are so many more neighbors that I can help out. So, I keep praying for opportunity to be a shining light in my neighborhood.

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