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Thursday, May 14, 2009

Where am I?

Do you ever feel like that lost puzzle piece or the extra screws that come with furniture and serve no purpose? A lot of times that is the way I fell about my life. I'm 33, yeah...I know, and I have no clue what I have been put on this earth for.

I don't really have any talents and I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I try to find people with common interests and that is all it ends up being, a common interest.

I feel like such a loner, I treat my friends just like they are my family. I think some of them think that I'm weird because I will actually take time out of my day to see how someone is doing. I actually don't call people as much as I want to because I feel like a bother. Most people just call me when they want something.

I've prayed and prayed about this and maybe I'm just not a good friend. I try to be there for people through thick and thin. Most people go to family when a problem arises, so I step back.

What constitutes a good friend in this day and age? That fake, "hi, how ya doing?" I'll see ya when I see ya is for the birds.

I guess this is something that I have to get over. As lonely as it is, I would rather have no friends than shady friends.

1 comment:

  1. Desiree, your too self critical my dear. You have been put on this Earth for at least one purpose and that is to raise those kids into stellar adults!

    I agree with you about the chit chat "how are you" - junk. I cant stand it...but its what society teaches us is polite..if only most people would mean it like Christ does when they ask it....

    However, remember that Jon, friends, family, are not here to make you happy - you must find happiness within YOU first.

    Have you heard of the book Sacred Marriage? Its about making a marriage holy not happy. Its also touches on looking witin yourself for happiness instead of to your spouse - or others for that matter. I had this problem and this book would be great for you and really should read it. If you want I can pick up a copy and send it to you!

    You have an amazing personality. And that shines through every time I have seen you...keep your chin up and press on!!

    Where are you working??